


Take All of Me, All of You

by DaniJayNel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, F/F, Oneshot, unrequited love to reciprocated love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 01:44:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20107138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniJayNel/pseuds/DaniJayNel
Summary: Ymir has been in love with Historia for as long as she can remember, but never built the courage to tell her. Now that they’re adults, they spend most of their time working and Historia is getting married. Ymir tries to be happy for her, but her feelings never went away. Then Historia and her fiance break up, and Historia is incredibly heartbroken. Determined to show Historia how amazing she is, and that she is better than a failed relationship, Ymir takes them on an unplanned, impulsive vacation. With a little friendly interference, maybe they'll finally figure out the love between them.





	Take All of Me, All of You

At 1am, Ymir noted that she needed to change her porch light. The outer globe was filled with dead insects and the bulb within was nearing its end, so dim that it barely even qualified as a light anymore. It was just strong enough to throw pale yellow light over Historia’s form, and Ymir stared in confusion at her.

“Ymir,” Historia croaked out around a sob. “It’s officially over.”

Ymir blinked the bleariness from her eyes and scooped her fingers through her messy hair. For the longest second she couldn’t figure out what Historia was going on about, and she opened her mouth to ask, but then she noticed that Historia’s eyes were red and puffy and her face was wet with tears, black lines of makeup from her eyes to her chin. It was then that Ymir realized, and without a word she moved aside and let Historia in.

Shoulders heaving slightly, Historia stepped in. Ymir quietly shut the door behind her and switched the lounge light on. When her eyes adjusted, she saw that Historia was soaked through and shivering. She had nothing but a thin dress on.

“Jesus, Historia. Why are you soaking wet?”

Historia stood in the middle of her lounge, staring at her miserably and sniffling through her tears. “I walked here from the pub,” she said, voice watery. “It rained.”

Ymir made her sit and then went to grab some clean clothes and a towel. She left Historia to change in the lounge and went into the kitchen to make something for her to drink—rooibos tea, Historia’s favourite. Ymir hated the stuff, but she always kept a box of the teabags handy for when Historia came to visit.

When Ymir returned to the lounge with a piping hot mug of tea, Historia was dressed in one of Ymir’s pyjamas. The shirt was way too big and she had to pull the sleeves back to stick her little hands out, but it was better than being wet. She looked incredibly adorable, but Ymir didn’t have the heart to even enjoy Historia in her clothes, because she looked absolutely destroyed.

“Feeling a bit better in dry clothes?”

Historia accepted the tea with a little nod. She stared down into the cup and remained silent, and then a fresh wave of tears leaked out of her eyes and dripped into her tea. She didn’t seem to care.

“I’m so sorry for coming here so late. I know you were sleeping.”

Ymir stretched lazily and then hopped off the couch to gather Historia’s wet clothes. “Nah, it’s okay. You know you’re always welcome here, Historia. Always.” She turned to leave, but paused and looked back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Historia sipped the tea. “If you don’t mind.”

Ymir left to put the clothes in her dryer, then returned with her hairdryer and a blanket. The blanket she draped over Historia’s shoulders, then she plugged the hairdryer in. “Okay,” she said. “Sit sideways on the couch so I can dry your hair while you explain what happened. It’s Logan, right?”

Historia set her empty mug on the coffee table and then turned so that her back was facing Ymir. “Yeah,” she sighed, voice soft and defeated. “We fought again. It was… so bad, Ymir. We broke up. The engagement is off.”

Ymir flicked the dryer on and ran her hand through Historia’s tangled, wet hair. Her eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Is it really over?” she asked.

Historia hunched forward. Even while Ymir gently combed through her hair, Historia shook as she sobbed. “It’s really over,” she cried out. “She said she can’t take it anymore. She says I’m too distant and that she doesn’t want to be stuck with someone as cold as me.”

Ymir bit her lip. There was a lot of things she wanted to say about that, but years of having this exact argument meant that she knew to keep her opinions to herself. “But weren’t you two getting therapy or something?”

“Yeah. It didn’t help. She said it was only making her realize how much our relationship was lacking.”

Ymir put the dryer off when she was done and ran her fingers through Historia’s hair again, brushing it all back. Her hair was incredibly soft and Ymir could smell the expensive shampoo that she used, and she couldn’t help the little jolt to her heart. Historia turned around, pulling the blanket around to her chin. Her face was wet again.

“Don’t you think this is for the best?” Ymir asked her carefully.

Historia’s red, watery eyes lifted to meet hers. “I love her, Ymir. I don’t know what I’m going to do without her.”

Ymir’s stomach clenched and her heart ached. She wanted to argue, but Historia didn’t need that right now. She was still fresh from an awful argument and a terrible breakup, and she needed a little more time to just process before she could start to think about things. Ymir didn’t plan on holding her tongue forever, but Historia’s heartbroken expression was enough to make her very careful with her words.

“You’re going to survive,” Ymir said firmly. “You can sleep in the guest room tonight. You need some rest. We can talk more in the morning if you want, when I get back from the gym. I’ll bring breakfast home, okay? Does that sound good?”

Historia sniffled and nodded. She stood and Ymir followed her down the hall. “Thank you, Ymir.” She paused by the door and turned to look up at Ymir. Ymir’s heart skipped a beat. Historia leaned up on her toes and pressed a warm, soft kiss against her cheek. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I don’t know what I’d do without _you_.” She smiled sadly, and then she slipped into the room and the door clicked shut behind her.

Ymir shut her eyes and tried to breathe evenly for a moment. Her cheek tingled but her heart hurt, so she just went back to bed and tried to get the feeling of Historia’s lips out of her mind. She felt guilty that Historia’s heart was broken and she was thinking about her romantically, but she couldn’t help it.

An hour later, Ymir still wasn’t asleep and her bedroom door cracked open. She pretended to be asleep and felt Historia climb into the bed beside her, and then slide closer until they were back to back. Historia released a soft sob, and then she cried softly right there in Ymir’s bed, and Ymir just pretended that she wasn’t awake and that her own heart wasn’t breaking as well.

XxX

“Whoa, so do you think it’s really over?” Nanaba asked her, pausing to drink some water and wipe sweat off her neck while still keeping a close eye on Ymir.

Ymir grunted and did another lift. “Honestly? I don’t know. I’ve never seen her _this_ upset before. She said the engagement is off.”

“Have you spoken to Logan yet?”

Ymir glared up and bared her teeth. “If I see that bitch I’m going to kick her in the face.”

Nanaba chuckled. “Yeah, we all feel the same.”

Ymir set the weights down on the bar and then sat up, panting. “I’ve never liked that bitch. Since the moment Historia introduced her to everyone. All she did was give us dirty looks and keep Historia so occupied that no one could spend time with her. Historia has like, no friends left besides me and that’s a lot of pressure to put on one person.” She accepted her bottle from Nanaba and angrily took a sip. “How does Historia not even see how bad Logan is for her? She’s abusive and manipulative and selfish. She said Historia is cold, but she isn’t. Who the fuck looks at Historia and thinks, yeah, she’s cold and empty inside?” She dropped her bottle to the floor with a huff. “She has the fucking privilege of being Historia’s partner and then she treats her like an object.”

“I know this must be very frustrating for you,” Nanaba told her kindly, eyes filled with pity.

Ymir felt her cheeks warm. “I just wish I wasn’t in love with her, you know? I’ve tried so hard but these feelings just won’t go away.”

Nanaba nodded. “Being around her all the time doesn’t help. You know, maybe you need some distance from her.”

Ymir shook her head. “No way, she doesn’t have anyone else right now, Nana. She needs me.”

“You want to support her because of your feelings for her. Aren’t you scared she might rebound on you?”

Ymir snorted harshly. “Trust me, she isn’t interested in me like that. I’ve tried but, she just… always had someone else in her heart.”

Ymir’s chest tightened and she looked down at her lap, eyes burning. She wouldn’t cry, though. She had been in love with Historia since they were kids. When she realized her feelings, she had also realized that Historia was on an entirely different league than her. In high school they had been fondly dubbed the Dyke Duo and people had always made up rumours that they were going out, but Historia had always strongly rejected them. She had gone so far as to makeout with whichever girlfriend she was with during break times, so all their friends—Ymir included—and those passing by could see. Ymir had laughed it off, but it had really fucking hurt.

Whenever Historia needed a shoulder, she was there. Whenever Historia had her heart broken, Ymir always attempted to pick the pieces up. In their last year of high school, Ymir had been going through a lot and Historia had been the one to comfort her, to make sure she got up, studied and ate. Historia had been single then, too, and so far, hadn’t showed interest in a new girl. Ymir’s hopes had soured. On the day they graduated, Ymir had kissed her. Historia had been shocked, then laughed it off and they never spoke about it again. Historia went on acting like it never happened so Ymir realized that she probably didn’t want to lose the friendship, so she shut her mouth too.

For years Ymir watched Historia in the arms of someone else, while she ached and longed for her. When Historia came over and they watched movies, they cuddled and Ymir always had to resist the urge to make a move. She always had to remind herself that Historia was not attracted to her.

All her feelings for Historia did was bring her pain.

“Hey bitches,” a voice sneered behind them, and they turned to see Hitch sauntering over. She wore the tightest sports bra that showed two stiff points and pants just as tight, showing off her clear camel-toe. Nanaba immediately choked on her water and blushed bright red. Hitch grinned broadly when she noticed her embarrassment, but Ymir just gave her a deadpan stare.

“We never ordered a hooker,” Ymir told her.

Hitch narrowed her eyes and then playfully slapped Ymir’s bare shoulder. “Look at you, being an asshole to me.” She threw her head back and laughed and then bent down to give Ymir a hug. Ymir happily hugged her back and enjoyed the feeling of her soft breasts. They both knew she did. When she stood, she adopted a carefully curious expression. “So, did you hear the disaster couple finally split?”

Ymir’s ears went hot. “How do you know already?”

Hitch gave her a look. “Ymir, baby, Logan has a massive mouth. She was posting about it on twitter all night. She must have live tweeted the fight or something.” She pulled her phone out and Ymir took it. She scrolled through the tweets, hissing.

“That fucking dickbag.”

Hitch plucked her phone out of Ymir’s hands. “Right? And Hannah was talking with her this morning at work and Logan went the fuck off. She said some really mean things about Historia, things that are clearly untrue.”

Ymir nodded. Her hands clenched into fists and she really wished that Logan would show up somewhere in front of her so that she could throw her fists and fuck a bitch up. “Historia came to my place sobbing. She probably thinks this whole thing is her fault, and it’s so fucking stupid.”

Hitch tapped away at her phone. “Yeah. Honestly, I don’t know what Hissy saw in that idiot. I tried telling her like, a year ago, but then she blocked me on all social media. Like a child.”

Ymir exhaled harshly. “I’m the only one she never shut out. Logan probably tried to end our friendship too, but luckily Historia didn’t let her.”

Hitch swayed over to Nanaba and pressed against her. “Your relationship with Historia is so weird, babe. I swear you’re both in love with each other or something.” She ran a hand up and down Nanaba’s chest, and Nanaba was clearly trying not to react.

“Babe,” Nanaba finally muttered, pale face scarlet. “Please.”

Hitch giggled. She leaned up and pecked Nanaba on the lips. “You’re so easy to tease.”

Ymir didn’t watch them kiss again. She instead gathered all of her things and decided it was time to leave. She needed to pick up something to eat and then see if Historia had stayed at her place, and if she was awake yet.

“Okay, I’m off. Goodbye Nanaba, and the whore.”

Nanaba frowned at her, but Hitch chortled in laughter until Nanaba covered her mouth to make her stop. Ymir walked way from them, shaking her head and grinning. Before she even stepped through the doors her grin was gone, replaced by a frown.

Ymir stopped to get some takeout, then went home. The place was silent when she entered, and Historia didn’t seem to be in the lounge or kitchen. Ymir found her still sleeping and sat down beside her. She was absolutely beautiful, sprawled out, golden hair cascading over the pillow. Her face twitched every so often and she had some dried drool on her chin, but the sight of her was devastating to Ymir’s heart. Reluctantly, Ymir gently shook her shoulder until Historia’s beautiful blue eyes cracked open.

“Mm, babe?” Historia mumbled, lifting a hand to rub her eyes.

“No, just me.” Ymir tried not to show the hurt in her voice or her face. Instead she smirked and waited for Historia to fully wake up.

Historia’s eyes widened slightly, then dipped shut. “Oh,” she breathed, probably remembering the night before. “I… hoped it was all a dream.”

Ymir forced herself to keep smiling. “It all sucks shit right now, but I brought some food.” She lifted the paper bag and Historia’s stomach growled loudly.

“Wow, breakfast in bed,” Historia said, cracking a small smile. “You really are amazing, Ymir.”

Ymir ignored the compliment. She stuck her hand in the bag and pulled out Historia’s food, then her own. Their drinks sat on the bedside table. They sat there together, quietly eating their food. The shirt Historia wore really was too big, and the shoulder slid down to reveal her smooth, pale skin. Ymir tried no to stare at that or Historia’s throat. Or her eyes and lips and hair and fingers and just… Ymir sighed.

“Are you feeling a little better?” Ymir asked her.

Historia finished eating and dusted the crumbs off her hands. “A little bit. Being here with you is helping. Thank you for the food, and for having me. I—oh, this is your bed.”

Ymir laughed. “You must have crept in here last night.”

Historia adopted an innocent expression, but Ymir knew that she remembered it. Historia didn’t know that she had been awake, though. “I don’t remember. I’m sorry. I must have been so confused.”

“It was late, you’re in pain. I understand. You’re welcome to shower.”

Historia nodded, so Ymir stood to throw the bag and all the wrappers away. She started to clean the kitchen from the tea the night before and Historia wandered into her lounge to switch the TV on. Ymir watched her silently as she scrolled through everything playing, finally settling on a romantic movie. Ymir frowned, but didn’t say anything.

After the minor cleaning was done, Ymir went to make her bed then took a quick shower. When she returned to the lounge Historia was quietly sobbing again and Ymir immediately dropped down next to her and pulled her into an embrace. As much as it hurt to touch her this intimately, she knew Historia needed it.

“I’m so sorry,” Historia managed through her sobs. “I’m such a mess.”

“That’s okay.”

“I feel like my whole life is ending.”

“That’s okay too.”

Historia didn’t say anything else and clung onto her shirt, little fingers holding on so tight that they turned white. She sobbed, then cried, then calmed down to stuttering breaths every few sniffles. The movie finished without either of them watching it, and Ymir found herself gently sliding her fingers through Historia’s hair to soothe her. Before long, Historia calmed and her breathing evened out.

Then her cellphone rang.

Ymir’s heart shot into her throat, but before she could tell Historia not to, she answered it.

“Hello?” the word was sad, shaky. Anyone with a brain could hear how much Historia had just cried. There was a long string of silence, then Historia inhaled sharply. “I… yeah I’m by Ymir, but why do you care? No, of course not! I never! You know I would never do that. What the fuck? So I just can’t have friends, huh? I don’t care what Hannah has to say. Logan, come on. Can’t we just try and work this out? I—no! Why do you have to be like this?” Historia covered her face with a hand, fresh tears pouring out. “I love you, does that really mean so little to you?”

Ymir swallowed hard. She felt awkward, sitting there with Historia against her chest while she argued over the phone with her, what, fiancé? Ex fiancé? It hurt. Every little harsh breath Historia took, every squeeze of her hand and every tear that dropped made Ymir’s chest ache a little more. They argued for a moment more, then Historia ended the call abruptly and threw her phone across the room. It thankfully smacked against one of the couches, unharmed. Historia was breathing hard.

“Historia—”

“What did I do wrong?” Historia cut in. She turned and buried her face against Ymir’s throat, not aware that doing so just made it so much worse for Ymir. But she let it happen, let Historia cry herself hoarse again, then she finally had enough. She gently grabbed Historia’s face and pushed her away until they could look at each other. Historia seemed surprised.

“Logan is a giant dick-hole, you do realize that, right?” Historia opened her mouth, cheeks colouring, but then Ymir forged on before she could argue. “This whole time you’ve been asking what _you_ did wrong, but a relationship is run by two people, Historia, not one. I’ve sat by and watched this woman treat you like a gold watch on her wrist. You are not a fucking object. You are a human being. A feeling, thinking person. You have needs and you have desires. Logan does not fucking care about you at all, I promise you that. She only cares about how good she looks with you on her arm.”

“Ymir—”

“If she cared, she would try. If she cared, she would not have made you cut out all your friends. If she cared, she wouldn’t always accuse you of sleeping with me behind her back. None of our friends like her and do you really think that’s everyone’s fault, and not hers? She’s nasty to us and she talks shit behind people’s back. She was talking shit about you at her work. Is that really someone worth loving?”

Historia’s mouth hung open. Her eyes were exceptionally blue like this, so close. Her eyes were puffy and red but they were still so fucking beautiful. Ymir’s throat tightened, but she pushed on.

“She should be grovelling at your feet right now, begging to fix this. But what is she doing, Historia? Nothing. She’s making you blame yourself. You haven’t been happy with her for a long time, and I really think you need to wake the fuck up and get over her.

“You just… don’t you realize how amazing you are? How you light up the space around you? People gravitate to you because you have such a warm, welcoming energy. Your eyes are like the nicest shade of blue. You’re so tiny but you fit _so much_ inside there and it’s honestly insane that you can be so much in such a small form.

“You deserve to be worshipped each and every day of your life. You deserve to be reminded how amazing and wonderful and beautiful you are. Not this, not told you’re nothing and less than. Logan is a piece of shit and she’s below you. Please, I’m begging you, listen to me. She isn’t good for you.”

Ymir was panting harshly when she finished, and her chest was buzzing with all of the love she held in her chest. She knew without a doubt that she had just revealed way too much, but she was getting to a point that she couldn’t hold it in anymore.

Historia studied her face, eyes wide. Her cheeks and neck had gone red and she seemed to actually take Ymir’s words in. There were still the dried streaks on her skin and the redness of her eyes, and Ymir just ached looking at her.

“I… wow.” Historia pulled away and wiped her face clean. She inhaled deeply, held it, then exhaled. “I never realized you saw me that way. That’s amazing, Ymir. You really are such a good friend. Thank you for thinking so highly of me. I’m really touched.” She smiled, but it looked so broken. “Whoever you end up with, she’ll be extremely lucky.”

Ymir snorted. _I wish it was you that would be extremely lucky_. She darkly considered just spitting it out there, letting Historia know that she didn’t just think highly of her, that she was fucking deeply in love with her. But she didn’t.

“Let’s go somewhere,” she found herself saying instead. Historia tilted her head. “Let’s go on a trip somewhere. For like, a week. You need time to process everything and deal with this breakup, and I could use a break too. Hitch has a cabin down at Quinta Point. We could totally ask her if we can use it.”

Ymir immediately pulled her phone out and sent Hitch a quick text. As was in character for her, Hitch read and responded immediately. She was very happy to let them use it.

“There,” Ymir said, grinning. “Hitch says we can. So, what do you say?”

Historia stared at her for a second, contemplative. Finally, she nodded. “I think that would be golden right now. When can we leave?”

Ymir grinned genuinely for the first time that day. “Right fuckin’ now.”

XxX

The radio blasted full volume, nearly shaking the windows to pieces and Ymir was dancing happily in her seat as she drove. Historia sat there and admired her, unable not to. She always tried to force her eyes away, because Ymir was a portrait she was not allowed to enjoy, but there was just this magnetism, and Historia was weak to it. She couldn’t stop herself from grinning like an idiot when Ymir cast her a glance, one eyebrow raised in challenge. Strangely, Historia found herself singing along like she didn’t have a care in the world.

It amazed her, that Ymir was still like this. It also made her chest ache worse than anything in the world.

Historia found herself fixating on the feelings she still had for Ymir—intense, intoxicating feelings. The whole ride to Quinta Point, she constantly thought about everything they had been through, all of the intimate moments and finally, the kiss. Historia still remembered how Ymir’s lips had felt against her own, how warm Ymir’s hands had been against her cheeks. She hated herself every day for never acknowledging it and for being such a coward.

She let her fear get the best of her, and Ymir moved on. Historia had refused to let her hurt show when Ymir started dating only a month after their kiss, but then she knew it was only her own fault. Ymir had given her a chance, and she had spat on it. Historia had tried her best to move on, too. Every relationship after that was hollow and fleeting. She always found herself dating someone that reminded her of Ymir.

Logan was tall, tanned skinned and strong willed. She had intense dark eyes and a grin that could melt the strongest heart, but her freckles weren’t quite right and the words she said never made sense. Historia had tried so hard to make Logan her fill-in, but of course that never worked. Of course, when all she tried to do was turn them into Ymir.

She was incredibly lucky to still have Ymir in her life, and even after all of the embarrassing sobbing and the fighting and revealing the ugliest, lowest parts of herself, Ymir still wanted to be her friend. This sudden trip was exactly what Historia needed. Logan was everywhere, back home. Their flat barely reflected Historia at all, and all of her friends were Logan’s friends, and they all hated her now. Logan went to all the same places Historia did, and if she didn’t have Ymir as a refuge, she would have had nowhere to go.

They took the final turn into Quinta Point. It was a small coastal town, with a single shopping centre and a handful of houses sprinkled about. The cabin Hitch so graciously offered them was right at the cove, secluded and private from the rest of Quinta Point. They turned off the road and onto a dirt path into the light forest, until they finally reached the wooden house and the clear water beyond. Ymir switched the car off and the music abruptly stopped. The silence was almost ringing in Historia’s ears.

“Damn,” Ymir breathed out, grinning. She seemed to be in an impossibly good mood. Historia envied her. “This place is just as beautiful as Hitch bragged.” She immediately climbed out the car.

Historia took a second to gather herself. The whole drive she had done nothing but wallow in her own negative emotions and she didn’t want to bring Ymir down when she was clearly expecting a good time. It was difficult, though. Her phone felt heavy in her pocket, laden with messages and missed calls from someone she didn’t want to hear from anymore. Part of her wanted to just throw her phone into the water, but the other part was weak and pathetic. Historia’s phone started to ring again, and shakily she took her phone out.

Ymir opened the car door and held a hand out, waiting. Historia looked at her, surprised. There was endless amounts of patience on Ymir’s face, but also a firmness that Historia immediately understood.

Logan’s name flashed on the screen as the phone continued to ring, but then Historia hit end and took Ymir’s hand.

“There we go,” Ymir told her, smirking. “You’re a badass and you should show it.”

Historia blushed brightly and prayed that Ymir didn’t think anything of it. They were going to be alone together for an entire week, she didn’t want to make things weird. Ymir was all she had left, so she couldn’t fuck this up too.

“You’re quite the gentlewoman,” Historia shot back playfully.

Ymir gave her hand a warm squeeze before dropping it. “Of course. That’s part of my lesbian code.”

Historia snorted on a laugh. All at once her feelings for Ymir came crushing in, pressing down so firmly on her chest that she could barely breath. Tears leaked out the edges of her eyes, but they weren’t tears for someone else. She felt a mountain of guilt because of it, especially when Ymir turned to her with a look of concern, probably assuming she was crying over her failed relationship again.

Historia knew she should have been. She should have been more devastated about things—but, really? She wasn’t entirely surprised. She was miserable and crying because she was in love with her best friend and she couldn’t seem to keep a relationship from falling apart because of it. Seriously, why did she have to be so damn selfish with her feelings? Why couldn’t she just fall in love with someone else?

Ymir swept a tear away with the pad of her thumb. A little crease formed between her brows and it made Historia’s heart ache. “It might not feel like it now, but you really will be okay,” she said softly.

Historia swallowed the lump in her throat. _How can it be, when you think I’m crying about her, but I’m crying about you and then crying because of that, too? _

Historia gave a smile and lifted her head. “I will,” she agreed.

Ymir nodded, then together they took their stuff into the cabin. It was absolutely beautiful inside, all modern and cosy. The kitchen was already stocked with food as well as alcohol, and Hitch left a basket of snacks, champagne and flowers on the dining room table with a note to them, telling them to do as they pleased and have fun. Historia curiously studied the way Ymir smiled tenderly at the card, heart clenching.

When Ymir returned from the car for the last time, Historia trailed her fingertips over the ink on the card. “You dated Hitch, right?”

Ymir disappeared into the room with her bag of clothes. When she returned, she seemed a little troubled. “There’s only one bedroom and it only has one bed.”

Historia swallowed. “Oh. I’m fine with that. Are you?”

Ymir’s cheeks seemed to darken. “Of course. I just… don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“I’ll never feel uncomfortable with you, Ymir. Out of everyone I’ve ever known, I trust you the most. I trust you with my life.”

“Flatterer.”

“That I am, and I also asked a question.”

“Damn, His,” Ymir chuckled. She went to the kitchen and started peering into the pantry and cupboards. “Yeah, I dated that ho.” When she turned around and leaned against the counter, her expression was soft. “It was only for like, a year. The longest relationship I’ve ever had.”

Historia frowned, not liking the pit of jealousy in her stomach. She knew she had no right. “Why did you two break up?”

Something passed over Ymir’s face, like a mask slipping. She seemed to perk up then, but she shrugged and grinned a little too widely. “A difference in opinion, you could say. We were just in different places. She’s dating Nanaba now, and they’re very happy together.”

Historia nodded. “I’m happy for them too.”

They fell silent, staring everywhere but at each other. Eventually, Historia took in a heavy breath and then forced her shoulders to relax. “I think I’m going to shower.”

“Good idea. I’ll get a braai going outside. We can totally swim too, if we want. It’ll be dark in an hour, but Hitch said it’s really safe here and it’ll still be warm.”

Historia nodded at the suggestion, then disappeared into the bedroom. It had a bathroom connected to it, with a massive tub and a huge shower. Historia got the shower running, picked her clothes and then undressed and stepped inside.

She spent too long in there, under the scalding water, thinking about her life, about Ymir. Part of her worried that she would do something stupid this week, but she also knew she loved Ymir too much to do that to her. No matter how much she was tempted by it, she wouldn’t admit her feelings. She couldn’t lose her only remaining friendship.

After showering, Historia dressed in a thin tank top and shorts, her bikini underneath just in case. She glanced at her phone just as it started to ring, but it flashed with a number she didn’t have saved. It could be Logan calling from another number, but something in Historia made her answer it anyway.

“Hello?”

“Historia Reiss.”

Historia would recognize that voice anywhere. Remembering her earlier conversation with Ymir, she couldn’t stop her voice from dripping with venom when she responded. “Hitch.”

Hitch chortled on the other end. “Having a blast with ‘Mir in my vacation house?”

“The place is beautiful,” she admitted begrudgingly. “You must really care about Ymir to let her come here with me.”

“Bitch, it’s because I love the shit out of both of you. You may have shut me out but that doesn’t mean I forgot about you. I actually called to tell you something incredibly important.”

Taken aback, all of the negative feelings she had towards Hitch disappeared. They had been close at a point, before she and Ymir had really dated. Then because of Logan and Hitch getting together with Ymir, it was easy to just push her away and get on without her. She’d always thought that Hitch hated her.

“Okay?”

Hitch was silent for a long moment. “Look, I really do love Ymir. If things would have worked, I would have married her. So I’m not doing this with an agenda, and I swear to god if you tell anyone I told you this, I will fist fight you. Do you understand?”

Historia’s stomach cramped with nerves. “Yes I do. What is it, Hitch? You’re freaking me out.”

“Good. You need to be freaked out. This is super serious. I let Ymir take you to my little Quinta home, because I really hope that the two of you can work through this weird thing you have going on. There’s clearly a lot of love between you, and you need to figure that shit out and put a name to it.”

Historia’s heart felt like it stopped. Her eyes darted to the open door, so she went to shut it and lowered her voice just in case Ymir was nearby. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Had she really been that obvious with her feelings?

“Oh please, princess. I’m not an idiot. Ymir is in love with you and I’ve seen the love eyes you give her. You clearly feel the same. So, I said it. Ymir is legit in love with you. She has been for her entire life and I think she always will be.”

A surprised, nervous laugh bubbled out of her. “Ymir is not in love with me. We’re just friends.”

“I swear to fucking—Historia, I broke up with Ymir because she’s in love with you. I believe that in her own way she loved me too, but if you had confessed to her during our relationship, she would have left me in a heartbeat. She told me that. I decided that the best thing for us was to go our separate ways. Please don’t take this lightly, because I’m being honest here and I might very well be making a huge mistake. Nanaba will kill me if she finds out I’ve done this. But, god, y’all are so fucking dense.”

“Hitch, I’m not—”

“Whatever you are, please figure it out. I’m tired of seeing the both of you look at each other like you need a damn drink. I have to go now. Enjoy the drinks and the bed, and don’t hesitate to skinny dip. Bye babes.”

Before Historia could try to argue again, Hitch hung up. Historia stared at her phone in shocked silence. It buzzed with a few messages from Logan and her friends, so Historia decided to switch it off and toss it onto the bed.

When she finally stepped out onto the massive patio, Ymir was relaxing in a fold-up chair and sipping on a beer. She had a fire blazing close by and some meat already sizzling. Ymir turned to look at her when she stepped onto the wooden floor.

“I was just about to come and find you,” Ymir told her, cheeks flushed from the drink and her eyes shining from the fire. “Did you fall asleep in the shower?”

Historia studied Ymir’s face. It was a face she knew so well, loved so much. The light from the fire sent rippling shadows over half of her face, but every bit of her was so gorgeous that it made her physically ache. “No, I, uh.” She licked her dry lips. “I’ve never been more awake.”

She joined Ymir and sat down beside her. It was warm there and the beer Ymir handed over was slick with ice water and cold against her palm. Ymir’s fingers slid against hers a little too long, and the contact made her heart jolt. Ymir didn’t seem to notice, but Historia certainly did.

She decided to take Hitch’s words seriously, and use this week to see if she was telling the truth. If… if she really did have a chance, and all this time had simply been wasted.

XxX

With anyone else, Historia would have continued to be a miserable mess. But instead, she was having the best week of her life. Not only was Ymir just fun to be around overall, but she showered Historia in compliments and praises and sometimes they were borderline flirtatious. Historia kept trying to remind herself that Ymir meant it to cheer her up, but she kept thinking back to her call with Hitch, so she studied Ymir carefully.

The moment she realized that Ymir was in love with her, they were sitting together near a blazing fire and Ymir had one of Hitch’s wireless speakers out. She picked a random playlist from her phone and let it play, and when it fell on a song she clearly knew, Ymir started to sing.

In all of their years knowing each other, Historia had never heard Ymir sing—she was amazing. Her voice was deeper than expected, dusty and intoxicating. She latched onto the lyrics with fervour and when she lifted her golden eyes to meet Historia’s, she gave a little grin and hit an impressive high note.

“Because I love you baby,” Ymir sang like her heart was beating at their feet. “All this time, I’ve loved you baby.”

The song faded away to the next one, but Ymir continued to stare at her. Historia wondered what Ymir saw in her, if her heart clenched just as hard, if her fingers twitched, wanting to reach forward and grab her. Historia didn’t realize she was crying until Ymir appeared in front of her to swipe the tears away.

“I shouldn’t have sung a romantic song like that, I’m sorry.”

Historia tried to laugh it off, but she couldn’t take it anymore. The way Ymir had stared at her as she sang, that was love. Pure, immense love. Historia was an idiot, but she wasn’t blind anymore. Ymir’s singing had unlocked something deep inside of Historia, and she felt like she could suddenly breathe again. Even as Ymir’s thumb lightly caressed the curve of her cheek and sent her heart into a frenzy, she felt more at ease than she had in years since that time Ymir had kissed her.

“Do you remember when you kissed me when we were still in school?”

Ymir’s brows connected and her lips dropped into a frown. She suddenly seemed very uncomfortable and pulled her hand away, but Historia caught it and intertwined their fingers. Ymir froze.

“I do,” Historia continued. “I never forgot about it. I thought about it constantly afterwards, even now. Whenever I kissed someone else, it was always you that I thought about. My biggest regret in life is that I never kissed you back.”

Ymir’s grip on her hand suddenly tightened. Historia could feel a pulse at the meat of her thumb, and it was racing. “Historia, what are you—”

“Do you know why I stared dating Shaun?” Ymir just stared at her, lips slightly parted. “Because she had the same shade brown eyes as you.” Historia could feel her cheeks blazing. The fire beside them crackled loudly and sent twirling shadows across their faces. “Shelly, because she was tall like you. Jack, because she had the same overconfident attitude. Logan, because she had freckles and dark skin and so many shades of brown. But none of them compared to who I was setting them up against, and that is you.”

Ymir sat down heavily in front of her, like she didn’t have the energy to even stand. Historia’s heart lurched, but Ymir didn’t pull her hand away or give her an awkward or disgusted look. She seemed… struck.

“Are you sure about this?” Ymir asked her cautiously.

Historia gave her a pained smile. “I’m not saying this because I’m trying to use you to get over Logan. I’m saying this because I’ve been in love with you since the very first moment I met you.”

“Historia…”

“Remember that day? I do. I was just a tiny kid and you were the only one that stopped running to help me up after I fell. You took me to the nurse’s office and insisted on waiting while they patched up my knees, and then you held my hand until my parents came to fetch me. You saw the way some of the other kids picked on me because of my size, and you told me to lift my head and be proud of myself.”

She released Ymir’s hand to gently cup her face. Ymir was always the one to do this to her, to either tease her or give her some sage knowledge. Now, like this, it was incredibly intimate. It felt heavy with emotion. Ymir lifted a hand to cover one of Historia’s.

“I’ve loved you since before that,” Ymir admitted quietly.

Historia swallowed. “You have?”

“When I walked into that classroom and this little blonde girl stumbled in, all I knew was that I wanted to be her friend and protect her. I watched you a lot but I never got the nerve to talk to you, not until you fell. I… Historia, are you telling me that you feel the same way?”

Historia dropped down onto her knees in front of Ymir, nodding. Tears were dripping from her cheeks, and to her surprise, Ymir was crying as well. “Ymir, all this time I thought you would never settle for me.”

“I kissed you first, idiot.”

“And then moved on right after.”

“Because you acted like it never happened, so I thought I fucked up. I was so terrified that I’d lose you, so I thought if I showed you that I was just messing around and got a girlfriend, you wouldn’t leave me.”

“I’d never have left you.”

“I never wanted to be with anyone else.”

“Why are we so fucking dumb?”

Ymir burst out laughing. It was the most carefree, joyous noise Historia had ever heard from her. Suddenly she was tugged forward, and then she was sitting on Ymir’s lap, cradled against her chest. “We really are idiots, huh? We’re still talking when we should be kissing. Can I do that, can I kiss you?”

Historia’s entire body felt like it was alight. She wrapped her arms around Ymir’s neck, fingers sliding into the silky soft hair at the nape of her neck. “Gosh, Ymir, you don’t ever need to ask.”

Ymir kissed her then, and this time Historia responded with every bit of emotion she had in her little body. It wasn’t a hungry kiss, but it was consuming. The kiss tasted like salt and relief, and they cried softly as they kissed, and then they just held onto each other as Ymir’s playlist continued to play and the fire crackled nearby.

Historia traced patterns against Ymir’s chest and marvelled at the fact that Ymir actually loved her. Genuinely, painfully loved her. She couldn’t believe how blind and stupid she had been up until this point, and how much time they had lost.

“I know you might think it’s too soon, but I really want to be with you.”

Ymir had her chin resting on Historia’s head. She exhaled. “What about Logan?”

“Oh yeah. Logan.” Historia couldn’t stop herself from laughing, and Ymir gave her a perplexed look. “Ymir, I’ve been so miserable not because of losing her specifically, but because yet another relationship failed and I wasn’t with you.”

“His, that’s shitty. But also, good. You deserve so much better than that piece of shit and you need to learn to be happy on your own.”

“Would you say I deserve you?”

The fire made Ymir’s eyes glow. “Hell yeah. We both deserve to be happy. I’m here for whatever you need. If we stay as friends and work things out, cool. If you’d like to get married tomorrow, I’m cool with that too.”

Historia snorted rather ungracefully and ran her fingers through Ymir’s hair. She’d always wanted to be this close to her physically, to touch her like this with her feelings out in the open. It felt amazing. “Typical of you, to propose immediately.”

Ymir’s expression turned very serious, and Historia swallowed. Ymir took hold of her hands and pressed gentle, loving kisses against her palms. “Historia, I’m genuinely so deeply in love with you. My chest feels like it’s about to explode from the force of my feelings for you. I love that I know the darkest parts of you, and I love you for every one of your faults. You’re not perfect, and neither am I, but you’re someone I can see myself loving for an eternity. So, if you agreed to marry me right now, I would do it. I’m serious.”

Historia grew silent. They had essentially wasted _so much_ time pining after each other and being so scared and stupid that instead of just talking about it, they ran to other people and just hurt each other. What was the point in waiting? Historia was confident and sure of her feelings, and Ymir seemed to be as well.

After a shaky breath, Historia drew Ymir in for a slow, purposeful kiss. When they pulled apart, Historia sighed. “Okay,” she answered softly. “If you’ll really have me, then yes. Let’s do it.”

Ymir blinked at her. “Seriously?”

“I’m serious. We would have been married years ago if we started dating in high school, anyway. Why wait any longer?”

Ymir chuckled. “We’re stupid and crazy.”

“Yeah, but love often is.”

“Historia, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Ymir. So much that sometimes I can’t breathe.”

“Damn, that’s gay.”

Historia laughed. “Yeah, it totally is.”

XxX

On the last day of their little vacation, they left Quinta Point early to head back home. They stopped by the court first thing and actually married legally, then went to Ymir’s first to drop off her stuff and clean up. It was a little overwhelming, but Ymir was nearly floating. Before they actually did it, they discussed it all through the night.

Ymir asked Historia so many things. They shared so many similar stories from their childhoods, of secret glances and longing dreams and the many, many failed attempts at confessing. Historia also told her that Hitch had intervened, and that was how she had realized the truth, and Ymir was actually so grateful to Hitch that she immediately ordered a massive dildo bouquet, the most expensive wine and every favourite chocolate Hitch loved and had it sent to her flat.

After they finished showering, they went into town to buy matching rings. Nothing fancy, just silver bands, and then they had breakfast. Hitch called her just as they finished eating.

“I’ll say thanks for the wine and chocolate, but what the absolute fuck with the twenty dildos tied together?”

“It’s a dildo bouquet.”

“I got that, yeah. Why the fuck?”

Ymir smirked and lifted Historia’s hand to kiss it. “Just a thank you. A genuine, heartfelt thank you.” She knew her voice conveyed the seriousness of her gratitude. Hitch went silent, and then she released a long, triumphant scream.

“You two finally fucking sorted it out?”

Ymir flinched. “Jesus Christ, I have ears, you banshee.”

“Shut up. Did you confess? Are you a thing? Can I finally fist fight Logan?”

Ymir laughed. “Yes, we’re a thing. It’s still… very new and exciting.” Ymir stared at the rings on their fingers, still in awe that they were technically married. Historia was her wife. They went from friends to wives immediately. So very much like them. “I think I want to keep this just between us for now.”

“Hell yeah. You get that honeymoon phase on, bitch. Kiss Historia on the mouth for me. Can I tell Nana?”

“Yeah, but only her.”

“Thanks babe. Enjoy her, and if I find out either of you did something stupid to ruin this, I will personally hire a hitman.”

Ymir laughed at the amused look Historia sent her, since Hitch spoke so loudly that Historia could hear the whole conversation. “Of course, you crazy bitch.”

The call ended and they simply sat there, staring at each other.

“Ymir, do you realize that we got married this morning.”

Ymir swept a finger over Historia’s ring. “Yeah. Crazy, right?”

“Our friends and family are going to be so confused.”

“Nah, we were inevitable.”

“Ooh, so poetic.”

“Shut up.”

“Or what?”

Ymir grinned and leaned forward to kiss her. “Or I’ll shut you up myself.”

Historia lifted a brow and adopted an overly fake concerned look. “Oh no, how terrible.”

Six months later, they finally told everyone that they were together. A month after that, they confessed that they had been married since their joint vacation. As they had expected, no one except Logan was surprised. Despite her constant accusations that Historia was cheating on her, apparently, she had thought Historia would use Ymir to soothe her aches, then run right back to her.

Logan found out about them on Historia’s Instagram, when they announced that they were having a full-on wedding for the sake of their parents. In the picture that Historia uploaded, they were dancing, Historia against Ymir’s chest and their lips locked. Their clasped hands showed the sunlight glinting off their rings. Hitch had taken the picture.

Logan showed up at Ymir’s door with insults and accusations, but nothing she said upset Historia. A lot of their friends were over for a get together, so they were all watching the drama unfold. When Logan insulted Ymir by insinuating that she had taken advantage of Historia, everyone was shocked and delighted when Historia decked Logan in the face, and then Logan tucked her tail between her legs and fled.

Their friends lifted their drinks and cheered, and Ymir couldn’t stop herself from dipping Historia right there in the doorway and kissing her senseless.

Not once did either of them regret what happened. They may have lost some time, but they didn’t worry about it anymore. Because of course, they had the rest of their lives to make up for it. And there were many, many happy years ahead.


End file.
